3 Cranky Bastards And A Blog: January 2012

So on a limb I downloaded the FF13-2 demo the other day and finally got around to playing it.
After installing the 1.8 GB demo (fucking thing is huge) and loading it up, it points me to the game start screen. I hit new game and get greeted with

"In order to play Final Fantasy XIII-2 you need a new Save Data File"
The Fuck? Why do I need a save data file to play a fucking demo? Ok.. I'll just get it over with, It can't be that bad right?

"Final Fantasy XIII-2 Will automatically save data whenever it feels it is an appropriate time to save data."
SO.. You're telling me, I have ONE save file for the game? I can never reload a previous save, unless I start a new game? Because that's the impression I'm getting. What's the point of this? Is it just another of Square-Enix's ways of going "hahaha let's see how much we can fuck with them this time" because that's what it seems like. Begrudgingly I hit ok and start the game.

Well, this looks nice, colorful and cheery. Oh neat two chars I guess that's who I'm playing as.. oh one of them is talking "OH GOD MAKE IT FUCKING STOP"
This has to be some of the WORST god damn voice acting I've ever heard in a game, and you're looking at someone who owns the original Resident Evil on the PSX. I'd rather listen to "You were almost a Jill Sandwich" than listen to the shit these people are spewing out. Then.. the Moogle shows up. Aside from looking like some deformed flying white piece of shit, it's got this annoying ass voice that sounds like someone's shoving something up it's fucking ass every time it yells "KUPO!" Then it shifts to a boss fight and the fucking Moogle turns into a fucking Bow? How the hell is that even possible...you know what fuck it, at this point I don't even care anymore let's just get this over with.

Well boss fight ok, right on means we'll get some good music here something well known for the Final Fantasy series is it's incredible score. Nope... what do we get? Fucking music that sounds like it was salvaged off the floor of a Devil May Cry game. How the fucking hell do you get even that wrong? Seriously game how? Ok.. bad music aside it's gotta have solid controls right? Right? Please tell me it does...

Auto battle? Oh come the fuck on! You can't even give us the fucking options to play the damn game proper? We've got to have the fucking computer do it all for us? Where's the damn fun in this. You can't even direct who does what or what fucking job they flip to. Who in their right mind finds this shit fun? Cause I certainly don't. Finally after wearing away at the damn thing it shift's to a cs, must mean this fucking pile of shit's over. Fuck no mother fuckers have real time action events programed into the god damn cut scenes.... Who fucking thought this was a good idea? YOU HAVE NO GOD DAMN ACTION OR THOUGHT AT ALL IN YOUR FUCKING COMBAT SYSTEM YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE ACTION ORIENTED CUT SCENES YOU FUCKING PILES OF SHIT.

Fuck this game, fuck square-enix and fuck whoever thought this game was a great idea. I'm not even 5 min in and I can't fucking stand it. You guys shit all over a franchise that was godly. It was the end all of end all for the RPG genre. The games that those games wanted to be and compared themselves to. Instead we get this pile of shit that you all think is a great idea and the fans will love. I don't know what fans you're aiming for with this but it's definitely not the core fans who've kept your shitty ass company afloat since 1988. You know what fuck you all I'm taking this shit off my PS3 HDD. And making a personal not to never buy another Final Fantasy product for a console again. If you're going to pump out games of this quality then there's absolutely no reason to.